


I'll Fix You With My Love

by HanukoYoukai



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crossdressing, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Peter Parker, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Pet Names, Sorry Not Sorry, Sweet, Valentine's Day, Wade Wilson Takes Care of Peter Parker, bromanticvdaychallenge2020, most likely, so many pet names, valentinesfun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22715821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanukoYoukai/pseuds/HanukoYoukai
Summary: Wade prepares a sweet (and sexy) evening to spend with his baby boy.It doesn't quite turn out the way he expected.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 143
Collections: Isnt't It Bromantic - Spideypool Valentine's Day Challenge 2020





	I'll Fix You With My Love

**Author's Note:**

> ~Peeks shyly from around the corner~
> 
> Hello!
> 
> I've never written Spideypool before. 
> 
> I'm a little nervous. 
> 
> This was written for the _Isn't It Bromantic Spideypool Valentine's Day Challenge._
> 
> Prompt: How do Wade and Peter do Valentine's Day?
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Making pancakes, making bacon pancakes. You cook a bacon and you put it in a pancake,” Wade hummed, turning the bacon in the frying pan on the stove, wearing nothing more than a frilly pink apron over his black satin stockings and panties. His gold pumps were nearby, ready to slip on at a moment’s notice. _Petey-pie won’t know what hit him,_ he thought as he cooked.

Candles were set on the table ready to be lit, and in the other room, pink and red rose petals were spread out on the bed. The Bluetooth speaker and Wade’s phone were ready to play his romantic playlist (which started off with _Careless Whisper_ ), and all that was left was to cook dinner for his man before he got home (and they both had a mutual love for all things pancake). Wade didn’t think there could be a better way to celebrate Valentines day. Sex, unkosher pancakes and Wham!? Who could want anything else?

_:Well_ I _want something else.:_

**~You’re not subtle.~**

_:Oh yeah? What do I want, then?:_

**~Our spider’s hard dick right up your—~**

Wade’s phone started vibrating and he picked it up, looking at the caller ID. Peter’s goofy face filled up the screen. Wade loved this picture. Peter’s big brown eyes were bright and sparkling and his smile was mischievous, like he was planning something. Wade smiled as he answered, figuring Pete would want to know if Wade wanted some wine (because even though Peter didn’t drink, he knew Wade did, and he was a considerate partner). “Hi snookums,” Wade cooed into the receiver.

Wade couldn’t hear anything on the other end. He pulled the phone away to make sure he hadn’t hung up, but Peter’s photo was in the corner and a little timer was counting up, indicating the call was still going. “Sweetie? Darling? Turtledove?” Wade asked, nervous at the lack of response. If he listened closely, he was pretty sure he could hear Peter breathing heavily.

_:Ohhhhhh!:_

**~This is a naughty call.~**

_:Ask him what he’s going to do with us.:_

**~And make sure he explains in detail.~**

_:I think we need a spanking.:_

“Petey-pie, you tease. Are you excited?” Wade purred. “I can hear you breathing, I know you’re there. You gonna tell me what you want to do with me?”

“…’elp….”

Wade frowned, straightening up. “What?”

“…’elp… me….” the breathing increased. Wade flipped the knob on the stove, turning the surface off.

“Pete, what’s wrong?” he asked, sternly. He moved from the kitchen to the bedroom at an extremely quick pace and started to throw on his suit as he listened to Peter breathe.

“…hurts…” Wade’s heart seized in his chest. He gripped his mask tightly in one hand, ear pressed against his phone as he tried to make out Peter’s words through his ragged breathing. “….hurts, Wade… help….”

**~He needs us!~**

_:Petey!:_

“Where are you?” Wade had pulled his mask over his face and ran to the balcony, throwing open the sliding door and darting down the fire escape.

“Outside,” Peter moaned. “Near… apartment… alley….”

Wade jumped the last few steps and ran to the side of the building. Sure enough, Wade could see a pair of red boots sticking out from behind the dumpster. The mercenary ran forward and around the trash to see Peter sitting on the ground, back pressed against the brick wall behind him and legs splayed in front of him. The lenses of his mask blinked.

“Oh…” he said, his hand that held his phone falling away from his head. “…hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Wade said, crouching down to assess the damage. He felt along Peter’s head, neck and shoulders, then moved down the Spider’s torso. Peter hissed when Wade touched his ribs. Wade stopped and winced when he pulled his fingers away. There was a slice in the suit there, and in the dim streetlights he could see something wet coating his fingers. “Got on the wrong side of a knife?”

“Among… other things,” Peter rasped. “You should… see the other guy,” he chuckled, before groaning in pain.

“Ha ha, Mr. Comedian,” Wade said, acting calmer than he felt as he assessed Peter’s injuries. Even the voices decided to shut up and let him focus. One of Peter’s ankles was turned in a funny way. “Can you stand?” Peter cried out when Wade touched it. “Guess not. Okay, baby boy, this is probably going to hurt, but I have to move you. I’m going to take you inside.”

Peter whimpered but didn’t react otherwise as Wade reached his arms under his shoulders and knees. “Alright, up and at ‘em,” he said, lifting Peter up in a bridal carry. Peter cried out again and pressed his head firmly against Wade’s shoulder. “Don’t worry sweetheart,” Wade said softly, jogging back to the fire escape and climbing it quickly. “I’ll get you inside and fixed up in a jiffy.”

“…’kay…”

In a matter of moments that felt like an eternity, Wade was kicking the balcony door shut behind him and laying Peter on the couch. He carefully ran his fingers over the seam of Peter’s mask, causing Peter to jerk in alarm. Wade waited for Peter to calm down and become aware of his surroundings before pulling the mask off. Peter’s face was covered in dark, reddish-purple marks and one of his eyes was swollen shut. Wade’s heart broke at the sight of his baby boy, but he kept his composure as he stripped Peter out of the red and blue suit he wore. Peter moaned as the suit was peeled away from his skin, curling in on himself.

“I know, baby boy. I know,” Wade cooed. “It’ll be okay. Dr. Pool will fix you right up.”

“Now… now’s not good time to… play doctor,” Peter slurred. Wade gave a half-hearted chuckle at the quip before kissing Peter’s forehead.

_:Awwwwwww. Brave little spider.:_

“I’ll be right back, snookums. Just got to get the first aid kit.”

Wade ran quickly back to the bathroom and pulled the giant toolbox the held all their medical supplies. Peter had a decent healing factor, but he still needed help. Wade was pretty sure he would have to reset that ankle and a splint and tape would help. The wound on his chest didn’t look too pretty either. Wade was willing to bet dollars to donuts that thing would need stitches.

_:We should get Petey donuts! Maybe we can lick his fingers clean.:_

**~He’s bleeding out on our couch. What the hell is wrong with you?~**

“I know. He’s ridiculous,” Wade muttered as he carried the box back to Peter, whose good eye blearily opened at the sound of his return.

“Wade?”

Wade examined the damage to Peter’s ribs. He definitely needed stitches. At least he seemed a bit more coherent now. “Hey sweetcheeks,” he said, pulling out gauze and disinfectant.

“What—” Peter looked around, taking in the scene of their apartment—which looked significantly different than how it did when he left. “Are those lilies?” he asked, seeing the tall flowers sitting in the middle of the table.

“Auntie May might have told me they were a favorite of yours,” Wade said as he started working on cleaning Peter up. Peter hissed when the disinfectant hit his wound, and Wade clicked his tongue sympathetically. “I know, baby boy. But it’s gotta hurt to get better.”

“Ugh,” Peter groaned, gingerly putting a hand over his eyes.

“If you want, I’ll put a hello kitty band-aid over it to make you feel better.” Wade smirked.

“Are we out of ninja turtles?”

Wade laughed. Peter was definitely turning around from the mess he was in the alley. “I’m afraid so.”

“Bummer… did you cook bacon?” Peter asked, his nose twitching.

“Shh. You’re bleeding. Let me stitch you up real quick, then we can talk about what I may or may not have cooked.” After a few minutes of silence, Wade threaded a needle with surgical thread and got to work on the deep cut in Peter’s side. “What happened here?”

“Doc Ock,” Peter grunted as the needle pierced his skin. “I thought I was just going after some thugs, but I guess they were _his_ thugs. He caught me by surprise. Seriously, did you cook bacon?”

“Maybe,” Wade hummed, quickly and methodically closing the wound.

“Wade, I’m Jewish.”

**~In this universe.~**

_:In ALL the universes!:_

**~That’s never been confirmed.~**

_:Yeah? Well I’ve got about 500 references that say otherwise.:_

“Hush,” Wade murmured quietly, disregarding the fact that Peter would hear him talking to himself anyway. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about them, after all. “I don’t think I’ve seen you be kosher a single day we’ve been together. Didn’t you _just_ eat a bacon cheeseburger last week?” Peter shrugged helplessly as he watched the mercenary move down to his ankle. Wade looked up at Peter’s very aware eyes, and frowned when he saw his lover blanch.

_:Oh, no. This is terrible.:_

**~He’s gonna hate us.~**

_:We can’t hurt him more, we can’t!:_

“I have to set this,” he said firmly, more to his voices than Peter. “Otherwise, it will heal wrong, and believe you me, we don’t want that to happen.”

“Speaking from experience?” Peter chuckled nervously.

_:Oh yeah.:_

**~It’s bad.~**

“Something like that,” Wade said, shrugging, assessing the damage with his fingers. “Okay, I’m going to twist it on three.” Peter nodded. “One—” Wade quickly twisted the joint in place with a nasty snap. Peter howled and clutched at the back of the couch, cracking the frame.

“You said three!” he shouted, eye wide open and visibly hurt. Wade patted his knee as he grabbed the splint and some bandages.

“I know. But you tense. And when you tense, I’m not strong enough to move you. Sorry, baby boy.”

Peter sighed, surveying the apartment again. “Those are candles,” he said. He sniffed the air. “And… roses? Are there—” his eye widened. “Oh shit. _Shit_ —Wade, I thought you said you didn’t want—”

“I was trying to surprise you,” Wade said, tenderly wrapping Peter’s now splinted ankle.

“Wade,” Peter said regretfully, eye wide and eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry. Oh my God, I ruined your plans—”

“Shh,” Wade said, pushing Peter up so he could sit with him. He gently manhandled Peter’s head into his lap once he took his place on the now broken couch. “You didn’t ruin anything. The crazy guy with the metal tentacles will have to answer to me about hurting my sweetheart on Valentine’s Day, but that is absolutely not your fault. Do you understand me?”

_:Guilt complex.:_

**~Complete martyr.~**

“But—” Peter interjected, but Wade silenced him by placing a gloved finger over his lips.

“Do you understand me?” he asked, gentle but firm. Peter sighed and nodded.

_:Worried about our plans, of all things.:_

**~What does someone so perfect see in us?~**

_:No clue.:_

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, baby boy,” Wade soothed.

“Wade—”

“Tomorrow morning, when you’re a bit more healed up, we’ll have bacon pancakes and do our rendezvous in the bedroom,” Wade said, playing with his hair.

Peter huffed. “Can you at least take off your mask?” he asked, carefully, a beseeching look on his battered face.

Wade smiled and tugged off his mask. He never understood how someone as beautiful as Peter could stand to look at him.

Peter reached up and brushed his fingers over Wade’s scarred, pockmarked skin, smiling as Wade leaned into the touch. “I love you,” he whispered, pressing into Wade’s lap like a cat as Wade continued petting his hair.

_:He loves us!:_

**~He’s crazy.~**

_:Yeah, crazy in love with us.:_

“Crazy in love?” Wade asked, aloud. Peter chuckled, eye falling shut.

“Yeah. Crazy in love with you, Wade.”

Wade grinned down at him, leaning over to press another kiss to his forehead.

“We’re crazy in love with you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Writing Notes:  
> 1\. This was going to be smut. Peter was going to come in and enjoy those stockings. Fully. And Wade was going to be ecstatic about it. I... I don't know what happened. I don't know how Peter DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WADE IS WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW! I... yeah. 
> 
> 2\. No really. That suit is on OVER the stockings. 
> 
> 3\. The overall injury repair is total nonsense. Shhhhhhh. Suspend your disbelief.
> 
> 4\. You all know that toolbox was put there by Wade, stocked by Wade, just to make sure Peter is okay, right? Yeah. Yeah you knew that. :-)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Please leave a Kudos if you did, and leave a comment to let me know what you thought! I'd love to hear from you. 
> 
> If you want to talk about my fics, send me prompts, or just say hi, I'm [hanuko](https://hanuko.tumblr.com/) over at Tumblr. Feel free to drop by.


End file.
